Buddies Crash by Nitin Malhotra - GECIS - New Delhi, Delhi, India.
                  nitin.malhotra@fleet.gecapital.com 
                  www.facelink.com/nutts 


                  After dying in a car crash, three friends, Sean, Karl and Juan,
                  find themselves at an orientation briefing to enter Heaven.
 
                  Each was asked "When you are in your casket, what would you most
                  like to hear your friends and family saying about you?"

                  Sean says "I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor
                  and a great family man",
                  Karl says "I would like to hear them say I was a wonderful
                  husband and a teacher who made a difference in children's 
                  lives",
                  Juan says "I would like to hear them say 'Look! He's moving!'" 



          
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          Pub - from AJokeADay.com 


          A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused
          to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading
          home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave
          but fell over straight away. He tried to stand up again but only fell over
          again. He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air
          he'd be grand. So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell
          over again. In the end after falling over lots more he decided to crawl
          home. When he got back to his house he pulled himself up using the
          door handle but as soon as he let go he fell over again. He had to
          crawl up the stairs and managed to fall over onto the bed and fell
          asleep. When he finally woke up the next morning his wife asked him
          what he was doing at the pub last night. He denied it but she said, "I
          know you were there..." he maintained his innocence until "...the
          barman rang to say you forgot your wheelchair again...." 


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          Genie  by flip_babe - Mississauga - Ontario - Canada 
          pixie_ca7@hotmail.com  

          There were 3 friends stranded in an island. Exploring the island, the 3
          men found a bottle so they opened it. 

          A genie came out, and she said that she would grant them 3 wishes.
          The first man said, "I wish I was with my family" then - Poof! he was
          with his family.
          The second guy said "I wish I was in a bar having a drink" then
          - Poof! he was gone.
          The third guy was feeling bad and the genie asked, "What's wrong?"
          The man said, I'm lonely I wish my friends were here. Poof! his two
          friends were back on the island. 


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    There was a little old lady who was nearly blind.
    She had three sons and they wanted to prove which
    one was the best son to her. 

    So son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion thinking
    this would surely be the best any of them could
    offer her. 
   
    Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a
    chauffeur included thinking he would surely win
    her approval.
  
    Son #3 had to do something even better than these
    so he bought her a trained parrot. 
    This parrot had been trained for 15 years to
    memorize the entire Bible. You could mention any 
    verse in the Bible and the parrot could quote it 
    word for word. 
 
    How useful his nearly blind mother would find that! 

    Well, the old lady went to the first son and said,
    "Son, the house is just gorgeous but it's really
    much too big for me. I only live in one room, and 
    it's much too large for me to clean and take care
    of. I really don't need the house, but thank you 
    anyway." 
    
    Then she explained to her second son, "Son, the car
    is beautiful, it has everything you could ever want 
    on it, but I don't drive and I really don't like
    that driver, so please return the car." 
  
    Next, she went to son number three and said, "Son,
    I just want to thank you for that thoughtful gift. 
    The chicken was small, but delicious." 



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